If You Wade Around Forever You Will Surely Drown
by jordaanmarie
Summary: lol, this has nothing to do with a book. this is my own story. kthanksbye.


I'm Learning To Fall

I was pretty content with the way things had turned out this year. I mean, of course there were ups and downs of it, but in the end I had realized that everything turned out in favor of me. That might seem a little selfish, but it wasn't for me. I was never really anybody going through school…but I'm only a freshman in high school, so what do I know? I knew a lot for a girl of my age to be honest. The point is, I'm purposely in a state where I just do not give a fuck about anybody but myself. Let me begin.

My name is Jordan, I'm 15 years old, and I'm pretty well put together. Long hair, dark eyes, average height. You know, same old boring teenager you see every day. Nothing special at all. To my school and my family, I was much more than some average teenager that nobody seemed to notice. They looked at me like I was some sort of shining medal they wore around their necks. Don't get me wrong, they weren't bad parents, but they weren't the greatest either, they were pretty typical in the ways of parenting. You know how that goes; get good grades, stay out of trouble, stand up for yourself, cook your own food, clean your room, yeah all of that.

Anyway, summer was over and it was time to go back to school. Going into ninth grade, a new school, a new year, a new beginning, was horrifying. It seemed like everyone fit in except for me. I had the same friends I had since sixth grade when I had moved from my hometown into a completely new world I had to adjust to. The first few weeks of school, I was pretty confused how everything worked, but I eventually adjusted to that too. Everyone had it set in their minds that they could just place me in some new environment and expect me to adjust to everything around me BY MYSELF. I'm sorry, but it just was not going to be that simple at all.

I sat on my bed, not understanding any part of my homework at all. I didn't even bother calling or texting anyone in my class to figure it out either. It wasn't a big deal to me; I was never outstanding with grades anyway. Pushing my books onto my floor, I lay on my bed with my phone in my hands, just looking at it. Of course, nobody was going to text or call me, I wasn't that interesting to talk to. I moved my pillows out of the way and searched for my remote.

_Damnit, I lost it again._

I sighed and got up, unlocked my door and looked into the hallway. "Mom, where's my remote?" I called down the stairs. Since we had fios, you could use one remote to operate multiple TV's.

"I don't know, I don't use it. I haven't touched it." It was always THAT excuse. She would clean my room, move my shit, and not know where she put it. Then she would say she never even touched it. It was like she forgot.

"Ok, whatever." I shut my door, and had to manually change the channel on my tv, which I absolutely hated doing. I always switched back and forth between channels to avoid commercials. Now I had to get my fat ass up and do it myself. It was too much work.

It didn't even matter that I had literally just changed the channel; I walked out of my room and went downstairs. I wanted food, I loved food, but I wasn't fat. It was like I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain anything. Everyone wondered if I was anorexic, bulimic, or if I just never decided to eat. I loved eating, I did it every chance I got, even when I was bored I would eat. Anyway, I grabbed a fruit roll up and ran back upstairs to avoid talking to my mother. She was always trying to start some pointless conversation with me about nothing, it was annoying.

Like I was saying, my summer went pretty well. I didn't do anything special, I did me and I had never felt better about it. I avoided everybody, cancelled plans with mostly everyone that wanted to hangout and just did what I needed to do.

I have a sister that I am pretty close with. Honestly, we used to hate each other to the point where we would fist fight over who got to use the computer first. Then we made hot chocolate and everything was all good again. It seemed like we would stay that way forever, but we didn't. At this point, she was 18, so we were able to get out of the house and drive places.

My phone rang. Yes, you read correctly, my phone actually rang.

"hello?" I was surprised that someone actually took time out of their day to call me.

"dude! Guess what just happened!" it was my best friend Kaitlin, and I knew she was going to tell me something completely pointless and random. It was always funny though.

I sort of laughed. "Whaaaat?"

"My cat was on the window…and then she fell and got stuck behind the couch…oh my god I died laughing."

Now…I can't remember if that's exactly what she said…but I know it had to do with her cat falling off something and her laughing at it.

I laughed along with her and said, "your cat does the stupidest shit."

She laughed as well. We had been best friends since sixth grade. We fought once every like…3 months. It was pretty much always my fault, but we always seemed to get through everything together. She was like family, and I wasn't about to lose her again. We talked for a few more minutes, but she was with her boyfriend and she had to go. We hung up, and I sat in my room with Jersey Shore on my tv. I was in love with that show.

"Jordan, get downstairs now." My mom had practically yelled. She was always being bitchy for no reason. She could never just say something to me without using some sort of bitch tone.

I got off my bed and walked downstairs, my boyfriend, Jack, was standing at my door. I completely forgot that I was going to his house today. I'll get into details about him later.

I grabbed my phone and ipod, and ran out the door. I would do anything to get out of that house, **anything.** I got in the car with him, his sister, and his mom, and we drove to his house in almost complete silence. I didn't wanna talk about anything with him while in the car with his family, and I honestly wasn't in the mood to be talking at all.

He knew everything about me, and I knew I was able to trust him, unlike anyone else I knew.

"are you okay?" his sister said. I looked up to see her looking at me with some sort of creepy smile.

I laughed and looked quickly looked at Jack, then back to her. "yes Sam, I'm fine."

She smiled, wiggled in her seat a little, turned up the music, and started dancing like a fool. She was cute, and I liked being around Jack's family a lot. I practically hated my own except for my sister and a couple of my cousins and aunts. My dad seemed to avoid me lately…and it was driving me crazy. I seemed to be alone in my own mind for what seemed like hours. I needed to escape….and Jack was my escape.


End file.
